Find Me Where the Water Ends (So Close to You) by Rachel Carter

Author:Rachel Carter [Carter, Rachel]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2014-07-01T00:00:00+00:00

I lie back on the hard mattress, staring up at the mirrored ceiling. My face looks back, tired and pale and small. I am dressed in the all-black uniform of the recruits, after showering in the small bathroom off the side of this room. I’m clean for the first time in days, but I still feel as dirty as I did before, like I’m forever covered in dirt and grime—in blood.

I turn over onto my side and face another white wall. This room is a small square box designed to feel like a prison cell. I don’t know how long they’ll keep me here, but I know that it’s only a matter of time before I’m sent out into the field again, forced to do mission after mission until I end up as cold and empty as her.

I won’t accept this future. I cannot become something I hate, willing to put the Montauk Project in front of the lives of my friends and family. What will happen to my grandfather? To Tim and Wes?

But how will I get out of this place? I need to go back to the beginning. I have to find some way to make it right.

The bright lights overhead suddenly disappear. I sit up on the bed, fuzzy spots moving in front of my eyes. The Center never gets dark. Not unless something is wrong.

They flicker once, then come back on again, burning white. It takes a moment for my eyes to adjust, and then I see myself—Agent Bentley—standing in the middle of the room.

“What are you—?”

She puts her hand up. “I’ve cut the camera feed to this room, but we don’t have much time. You need to listen to me.”

I scramble up from the bed, my boots falling heavily on the slick tile floor. I want to trust that she’s here to help me, but I cannot get her vacant expression out of my head. Was it all just an act? Is this the act now?

“What do you want?”

“I know you, Lydia.” She takes a step forward, her hand still stretched between us. “I am you. You’re curious about me, and you know that you could never have changed as much as the woman in that meeting had.”

I stare at her for a beat before I nod. She smiles slightly and it transforms her face, making her look softer, more human. More like me.

I cross my arms over my chest as I wait for her to speak. I’m willing to listen to what she has to say, but I’m guarded, wary. Still, I feel relief start to unfurl inside of me. Coming to this room is something I would have done, which means Director Bentley couldn’t have changed that much.

“When I did this mission, We—” She blinks rapidly and looks down at the ground. I wonder why she can’t bring herself to say Wes’s name. “Eleven and I were the only ones who made it. We came to New York to try and find out who was behind the radio advertisement.

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